- I stepped on a scale in the doctor's office last week, and I
assumed their scale must be broken because the number was way too high! I
was slapped in the face with a reality I had been avoiding. I had
gained weight. I had slipped into an autopilot of overeating and the
results were obvious.
When we have any area in our life where we want to make an improvement, if you're like me, you want to see that improvement immediately. I'd like to get back on the scale the next day and see twenty pounds gone, but that's not how it works. I didn't gain the weight overnight and and I won't lose it overnight. I can, however, make some immediate changes which will create some immediate improvement and lead to positive, longterm results.
It's the same in your marriage
The overall health of your marriage will be determined by what you do consistently over a long period of time, but you can get started right away. There are some adjustments you can make which will have an immediate, positive impact on your relationship. Below are 8 simple ways to instantly improve your marriage.1. Stop "keeping score."
Married couples offend each other every day. We step on each other's toes. We hurt each other's feelings. Imagine how much your marriage could improve if neither spouse kept score of every little offense, and instead, chose to see the best in their spouse and extend grace and compassion. I know it's tough, but give it a try. It could revolutionize your relationship.2. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom
It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it's nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it. Improving your sexual intimacy will always improve your marriage as a result.3. Submit to your spouse's preferences
We're all pretty selfish by nature, and we like to have our way, eat what we like, watch what we like on TV, and basically have life revolve around us. The strongest marriages are those where each spouse submits to the preferences of the other. Be willing to go first! Regardless of how your spouse instantly responds, serve him or her by prioritizing his or her preferences ahead of your own.4. Communicate about everything
I've always been bad about sharing details. It's part of being a stereotypical male, I suppose. Still, I'm learning the value of opening up about the details of my day, my feelings and my struggles. It brings a new level of intimacy to our marriage. Better communication creates a better marriage.5. Invest in shared experiences
We're in the crazy years of raising a young family, so we've got to work extra hard to prioritize time together alone. Make a regular date night a priority. Find ways to serve together and make a difference together. Look for ways to create new memories and new adventures together. Your marriage will be largely built on those shared experiences.6. Learn something new
I write and teach about marriage, but I'm still the first to admit I've got a LOT to learn! Keep learning about your spouse, but also keep learning about life and marriage. Read books. Connect with some mentors who could help you keep learning and growing.7. Get rid of the clutter
When life is overly hectic, messy and busy, that chaos inevitably spills over into your marriage. I'm not very organized, but I'm learning the freedom that comes with de-cluttering. Stop adding stuff to your schedules. Stop packing more junk into your house. Start having conversations about what you should quit doing or quit buying. Simplify your life and you'll improve your marriage.8. Celebrate the wins
I'm usually better at pointing out the stuff that needs to be fixed than I am about celebrating when something positive happens. I'm learning not to always focus on what still needs to be improved, because it takes my eyes off all the blessings happening right in front of me. Take time to celebrate the positives in your life and your marriage and that attitude of gratitude will help you deal with the negative stuff in a healthy, productive way.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
8 simple ways to instantly improve your marriage
Monday, September 21, 2015
Reason to be cheerful: the first hundred years of the Women's Institute
Tea, cake and equality
The Women’s Institute raised a cup of tea in celebration of its club’s centenary last Wednesday. Across the UK, many of the organisation’s 212,000 members were out in force for the occasion: in Oxford, 300 women took to the streets with celebratory banners and a new branch was opened in the city, while in Gwent, more than 700 members gathered at different venues to mark the milestone birthday with – what else? – a tea party.
The organisation previously celebrated with the Queen back in June and members visited Parliament for the first time on Thursday, where, as well as sharing a specially made fruit cake with MPs, the WI unveiled a report detailing the views of its members on matters including family life, work and the environment.
While 95% of the 5,000+ women surveyed recognised that life has improved immeasurably for women over the past 100 years, the report also underlined the many inequalities that women still face. Of those polled, 84% said they find it difficult to balance family responsibilities with work and 79% also believe that being a stay-at-home mother is not valued in today’s society. Despite the WI having campaigned for equal pay since 1929, 70% of women do not believe women are yet equal to men in the work place and 82% believe men and women are judged to different standards. Marylyn Haines Evans, vice chair of the National Federeation of Women’s Institutes and chair of public affairs, said:
This report shows that despite the significant societal, technological and cultural changes of the last 100 years, women are still demanding greater equality and fighting for the issues that are important to them and their families … Moving into our next century, it is crucial for us to work with all our members to preserve traditional skills and learn new ones and to empower all our members to campaign for change in the areas that they see as important.”
Sex ed with Jessica Biel
New mother Jessica Biel this week revealed that, despite being in her early 30s, she had no idea what to expect when trying to get pregnant after she and husband Justin Timberlake decided to try for a baby two years ago.
“Suddenly I realised I really didn’t know what’s going on inside my own body. It was shocking,” said Biel, who found herself thinking: “I’ve been on the pill for so long; how hard will it be to get pregnant?” And so, she teamed up with Saundra Pelletier, activist and founder of the nonprofit organisation WomanCare Global, whose mission is to provide access to reproductive health solutions for women and girls around the world. Together they will be launching a series of sex education videos aimed at making sure “every woman knows how her body works” and covering everything from puberty to contraception. You can watch the trailer here.
#IAmSizeSexy
The catwalk hasn’t always had a good rep when it comes to promoting positive body image, but Ashley Graham, a Canadian-born model who has becomethe face, body and voice for “plus-size” women of late, did her best to change that this week. A UK size 16, Graham used New York fashion week to showcase her new lingerie line alongside a group of other women, all of whom defied the usual model stereotypes.
Graham has always rallied against the term “plus-size”, arguing that it is used to refer to women who wear anything over a UK size 12, which is, of course, most women. Graham used the hashtag #IAmSizeSexy to promote her underwear show, and also pushed her message home with the unveiling of a new campaign for US clothing retailer Lane Bryant: #PlusIsEqual.
Abolishing the Eighth Amendment
A group of leading Irish artists, writers, musicians and film directors has this week launched a petition calling for the Irish government to repeal the Eighth Amendment of the Constitution, which gives effect to the ban on abortion in the country. Since the amendment was implemented in 1983, more than 150,000 women in Ireland have travelled abroad in order to have an abortion.
Actor Cillian Murphy and authors Edna O’Brien and Anne Enright are among those who have signed the statement which states:
[The amendment] is a key source of Ireland’s failure to reach international human rights standards and of the state’s failure to meet its obligations to vindicate women’s human rights.”
The petition backs a wider movement from the Abortion Rights Campaign and coalition of pro-choice groups across Ireland to abolish the eighth amendment. Next Saturday will mark the fourth annual March for Choice in Dublin held by the ARC.
The organisation previously celebrated with the Queen back in June and members visited Parliament for the first time on Thursday, where, as well as sharing a specially made fruit cake with MPs, the WI unveiled a report detailing the views of its members on matters including family life, work and the environment.
While 95% of the 5,000+ women surveyed recognised that life has improved immeasurably for women over the past 100 years, the report also underlined the many inequalities that women still face. Of those polled, 84% said they find it difficult to balance family responsibilities with work and 79% also believe that being a stay-at-home mother is not valued in today’s society. Despite the WI having campaigned for equal pay since 1929, 70% of women do not believe women are yet equal to men in the work place and 82% believe men and women are judged to different standards. Marylyn Haines Evans, vice chair of the National Federeation of Women’s Institutes and chair of public affairs, said:
This report shows that despite the significant societal, technological and cultural changes of the last 100 years, women are still demanding greater equality and fighting for the issues that are important to them and their families … Moving into our next century, it is crucial for us to work with all our members to preserve traditional skills and learn new ones and to empower all our members to campaign for change in the areas that they see as important.”
Sex ed with Jessica Biel
 |
“Suddenly I realised I really didn’t know what’s going on inside my own body. It was shocking,” said Biel, who found herself thinking: “I’ve been on the pill for so long; how hard will it be to get pregnant?” And so, she teamed up with Saundra Pelletier, activist and founder of the nonprofit organisation WomanCare Global, whose mission is to provide access to reproductive health solutions for women and girls around the world. Together they will be launching a series of sex education videos aimed at making sure “every woman knows how her body works” and covering everything from puberty to contraception. You can watch the trailer here.
#IAmSizeSexy
The catwalk hasn’t always had a good rep when it comes to promoting positive body image, but Ashley Graham, a Canadian-born model who has becomethe face, body and voice for “plus-size” women of late, did her best to change that this week. A UK size 16, Graham used New York fashion week to showcase her new lingerie line alongside a group of other women, all of whom defied the usual model stereotypes.
Graham has always rallied against the term “plus-size”, arguing that it is used to refer to women who wear anything over a UK size 12, which is, of course, most women. Graham used the hashtag #IAmSizeSexy to promote her underwear show, and also pushed her message home with the unveiling of a new campaign for US clothing retailer Lane Bryant: #PlusIsEqual.
Abolishing the Eighth Amendment
A group of leading Irish artists, writers, musicians and film directors has this week launched a petition calling for the Irish government to repeal the Eighth Amendment of the Constitution, which gives effect to the ban on abortion in the country. Since the amendment was implemented in 1983, more than 150,000 women in Ireland have travelled abroad in order to have an abortion.
Actor Cillian Murphy and authors Edna O’Brien and Anne Enright are among those who have signed the statement which states:
[The amendment] is a key source of Ireland’s failure to reach international human rights standards and of the state’s failure to meet its obligations to vindicate women’s human rights.”
The petition backs a wider movement from the Abortion Rights Campaign and coalition of pro-choice groups across Ireland to abolish the eighth amendment. Next Saturday will mark the fourth annual March for Choice in Dublin held by the ARC.
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