3 quick solutions to inspire your sex life

If you've hit your first wedding anniversary, then you probably know that the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever. Those butterfly feelings for the "birds and the bees" might have calmed down a bit over time.

If you ever find your marriage in a bit of an intimacy slump, try out these three quick solutions to inspire your sex life!

1. Change up the time of day

Perhaps in your younger days it was never too late (or early) for a little intimacy with your spouse. However, these days your body starts screaming for sleep around 10 p.m.

So try changing up the time of day. Don't wait to fall into bed to initiate sex. Rather, initiate it at 8 p.m. when you both have a little energy left and when you both have some kind of desire to be close to each other. When you wait until your teeth are brushed and the lights are out, your body may have already slipped into sleep mode (that's a nice way of saying there is no way sex is going to happen). So avoid the danger of the late-night hours and make it a priority to have some alone time with your spouse earlier in the evening.

Or, you could initiate sex in the morning, or the middle of the day on the weekend or a day off. Pay attention to your spouse's preferences, but change up the time now and then.

Enjoy the spontaneity of making love at 2 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon, or at 5 a.m. on Wednesday morning (long before the kids are awake, or the commute to work beckons). Changing up the time of day is a perfect way to add some romance back into your love life.

2. Plan on it

By planning on it, we don't mean that you should get out your calendar and schedule time for sex (though that may help some couples). What we mean is that you should give your spouse a little nudge and a wink before heading off to work in the morning, just so they know that you're already looking forward to coming home.

Send him a text during the day that says, "I love you hunk! I can't wait for tonight!" Leave her a little note in her car, sprayed with your cologne, that says "XOXOX ... later?" Or simply give him that look at the table Saturday morning and then mouth the words, "Let's go upstairs ... "

Whatever your approach may be, let your spouse know that you're looking forward to some intimate time together; and the anticipation makes it more fun.

3. Focus

Intimacy demands focus. It's time for just the two of you — away from work; away from the daily routine; away from the kids. It gives you time to recharge, reconnect and be alone — together. One of the best ways to make sex more romantic is to learn to focus.

Forget about your to-do list, or the stresses of work. Forget about your kid's science fair project, or that text that someone just sent you. Just focus on each other. Focus on helping your spouse feel loved.

Men, this may include giving your wife time to talk, to cuddle and to share everything going on in her life. Just remember that emotional intimacy is an important part of marital intimacy (and also leads to much more satisfying physical intimacy!).

And Ladies, know when to stop talking. When it's time for the physical sparks to start flying, it's time to stop talking about the day's events. Nothing breaks the romantic mood like sharing that random thought that just came into your head right in the middle of a romantic moment. Keep your mind focused on your husband and be present.

9 things you should be doing for your wife every day

• No matter how long you have been married, there are always things you can do every day to make your wife happier and more fulfilled. Here are nine suggestions.
  

• 1. Call her from work to express love

  While you spend hours upon hours apart each day, be sure to check in with no other purpose than to say "I love you." Despite having a calendar full of to-do's, make sure you call her "just because." Whether she's at home with the kids or working at her own job, she'll appreciate knowing she really is in your thoughts and that you took the time to show her. A simple text or quirky Snapchat also work, but hearing your voice will brighten her day in a way nothing else can.
  

• 2. Play with the kids

  Whether you help them set the table for dinner, play in the sandbox, or make time to read stories, the time you spend with your kids will alleviate her load—whether she has been home all day with the kids or working relentless hours at the office. The maxim was never truer of the woman who said to her kids, "I never knew how much I loved your Father until I saw how much he loved you."

• 3. Plan a vacation

  Your budget may limit the vacations you can take, but it is a fact that planning one makes you happier. Researchers in the Netherlands studied more than 1,500 people to find the connection between vacation time and happiness. According to their findings, "the largest boost in happiness comes from the simple act of planning a vacation". The actual vacation, they found, "boosted happiness for eight weeks." Find something you can both look forward to by planning your getaway together.

• 4. Kiss her for 15 seconds or more

  It's no secret the passionate kisses you shared as a young couple fade. One simple way to improve your marriage is to make sure you have at least one 15-second kiss every day. As Ryan and Selena Frederick of FierceMarriage.com discovered, 15 seconds can make a huge difference.
  "Kissing makes us feel closer; and since we always want to feel closer it makes sense to make purposed kissing a daily part of our lives," writes Ryan. "Kissing reminds us of the distinctly human qualities (good and bad) that we fell in love with in the first place… [and] drown out distractions around us."

• 5. Turn off the TV

  Or the computer. Or the smartphone. It's no secret "technology is affecting all kinds of social interactions," notes Dr. Meghan Tyler, author of "Selling Sex Short". You interrupt face-to-face conversations to answer your mobile or reply to a text." Put down the phone. Log off your social accounts and invest some one-on-one, face-to-face time each day. Dr. Tyler is quick to point out this doesn't require hours everyday. Even a few minutes will help. "You have to reinvest in your relationship, which doesn't mean spending eight hours a day in it. You can spend six seconds or 10 minutes daily and see a change."

• 6. Remind her why she fell in love with you

  Do you remember what you did to win her hand and what she did to win your heart? Remembering—and recreating—those moments is key to building a beautiful future. Play one of your songs; look at photos from the early days; talk about what you did together that you particularly enjoyed.
  

• 7. Keep your spiritual bond strong

  Take time together to block out all distractions. Whether that's reading scripture passages, praying or meditating together, or enjoying the peacefulness of nature, it's important to connect spiritually as a couple. She needs the break from her everyday craziness and will appreciate when you take the lead and initiate some time doing those things you both feel strengthen your souls.

• 8. Perform random acts of kindness

  Do something small every day that plays into what says "love" to her. It could be a simple written note, a spoken sentence or two of appreciation and affirmation, or doing a service like washing the dishes or mowing the lawn. Give her a gift in a way that means most to her and see her smile.

• 9. Pamper her a little

  She doesn't need the spa everyday, but she does deserve some special treatment. Try giving her a five-minute foot or neck massage, paint her toenails for her, or make her daily shower a decadent one by gifting her a bottle of her favorite bath gel or a soft and absorbent bamboo towel.
  There are plenty of ways you can light up your wife's life every single day. Cariloha believes everyone deserves some pampering every day. Check out their line of ultra-soft, comfortable products that will make your job a little easier.